Saturday, December 19, 2009

Waiting for Clarity

People are asking me how the wine is coming along from the pinot noir I started this fall.  That was the case last night with a student at a dinner at the seminary.  I told her that the wine is still in larger containers doing its slow, quiet work of settling and clarifying.  The wine is very cloudy now and I will wait for a few months to see if it clarifies by itself.  I have clarifying agents that I can use if it becomes necessary that will help clear the wine without altering the taste.  Once it is nice and clear I'll bottle the wine.  Well, when the seminary student and I were talking about waiting for clarity we both smiled and I realized that we've got another theme in spiritual life here!

Often in spiritual direction I am sitting with people, sometimes for months or even years, as we wait together in prayerful attentiveness as my friend is seeking clarity about various life questions:  What direction am I being called into in ministry?  How do I best respond to this relationship?  How should I address a particular concern with my spouse or partner?  What does God want from me in my workplace?  If I take this particular job I'll have to give up many other important things.  What is the right thing to do?  My prayer life seems to be changing, but what will that do to my relationship with God?  I keep getting variations on the same dream--I wonder what this is trying to tell me?  Now that I'm moving to retirement I wonder what I should be doing in my life?  There are a whole host of questions that come with faithful, reflective, contemplative living.  The Christian spiritual tradition offers various tools for discernment, for seeking God's direction (our deepest, truest direction) amidst the various pushes and pulls and interests that come with important life situations and decisions.

Out of these many contributions from the Christian tradition, I'd like to highlight an aide to discernment that comes from the Quaker community--the clearness committee.  Although I'm not going to go into detail about how a clearness committee process works in this reflection, I would like to emphasize some aspects of it from which we can all benefit.  A person (or people) is seeking greater clarity and sense of direction, of God's direction, in a particular life question.  He or she calls together some members of the community to sit with in one or more sessions that is marked by prayerful silence and questions of a particular kind.  The members of the committee believe that the truth that the person is seeking already resides within that person.  But the various considerations and interests that come with living in this world cloud his or her knowing, and the committee's job is to ask the kinds of questions that help the person engage the issues deeply and clear away the clouds to discover that inner truth or direction.

Whenever we are seeking clarity about a life issue it can be helpful to have people that can be with us, non-judgmentally and faithfully, in ways that are like a clearness committee.  A spiritual director-companion, a some friends, a pastor or therapist, some wise elders in your faith community, some family members that can be loving but also a bit detached from the situation, a colleague at work or school, or others that God may provide for you can be invaluable if they can help you freely explore your own deepest concerns and desires about the issue.  These are not people who are trying to tell you what to do--they are not advice-givers.  They trust that God resides within you and your deepest inner knowing will take you where you need to go.  They can sit with you in prayer, be a companion you in the waiting for clarity, and can ask you the kind of questions that help you do your best inner sifting of values and concerns and open you to the imaginative and prayerfully intuitive work that will eventually clarify your truth.  Sometimes that inner direction comes quickly, but many times it is a process that takes a long time before you have clarity.  Having some faithful friends can be helpful--they can be "spiritual clarifying agents."

8 comments:

Cindy Alles Ivy said...

Very helpful to me, Dan. Especially the guidance on how to be there and be helpful, without being an advice-giver. I think we are all waiting for clarity, but some life situations bring on a more immediate need, like job changes, relocation, marital crises, etc. We all have faced, or know someone who is currently facing, such situations.

Betsy Alles said...

Beautifully expressed! I have also heard the "committee member" role described as being a true friend with no judgment or projection. As someone suddenly thrust into wide open space because of job loss I am finding I need lots of contemplative time and am finding great comfort in letting go of my need to have quick clarity. I'm enjoying the "not knowing" for now and allowing the process of discovery that I have never allowed myself before. So grateful...

Raisin said...

Dan, what do you think most distinguishes the clearness committee from a discernment committee? When I first heard of the clearness commmittee some years ago, I wondered the same thing.

Daniel said...

What has become the typical discernment committee based on the Listening Hearts model is an adaptation of the clearness committee. I was trained in the Listening Hearts model of group discernment by its founding exec. director, Suzanne Farnham. In our training we brought various life questions to our discernment group--none of which had to do with a possible vocation as a deacon or priest. Sadly and ironically many dioceses have adopted this for "discernment" processes for clerical orders but not used it very much for other purposes. It is ironic because Quakers are strongly anti-clericalist but the emphasis in the Episcopal Church on discernment=suitability for ordained ministry belies its clericalism! Both the clearness committee and its offspring, Listening Hearts-type discernment committee, is intended for any major prayerful life decision. Sorry about the rant. I would love for church communities to offer this kind of resource for people to use in supporting their discernment work in much more than just a possible call to ordained ministry.

Raisin said...

Dan, that was a useful rant! And just to cheer you up about this, I wanted you to know that right before seminary, my parish did use a discernment committee to help someone make a major work-related decision, not connected to the question of ordination. I was on the committee and found the quality of listening to be exemplary.

Christmas blessings to you and Ruth.

Daniel said...

Happy to hear that!

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Anonymous said...

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