When Life Intervenes

There's an old saying that we make plans but then life intervenes.  It's not always that bad things happen to our plans, just that often things occur that are unanticipated and call for a change in our plans and expectations.  In my current situation something very nice has occurred that is a renewal of an old plan that I had suspended.  Several years ago I sent a book proposal about leading spiritual guidance groups out to potential publishers along with some sample chapters and a book outline. I got a polite rejection from one publisher, no response from another despite one of their regular authors recommendation on my behalf, and then sent it to a third and received what seemed to be sketchy possible interest but the company was going through major reorganization. I then turned my attention to other interests and have only done a little here and there in continued writing for that book.

Last week I received an unexpected message that the third publisher's editorial and marketing review group is pleased with the proposal and is interested in publishing the book. However, since this may be part of a series of books through Spiritual Directors International they will need to get the nod from that organization. So while it is still pending, there is a possibility that book project is now coming of age! That is an exciting prospect and I am giving priority to getting back to work on the draft of that book. However, that also means that I am writing less in other areas--including this blog. Rather than just feel guilty because I'm not writing "enough" I'd like to turn this into an invitation to you, dear spiritual companions...

I would like to invite you who visit this blog to start conversations here with topics related to spirituality that are of interest to you. I'd love to respond to them and invite others to add their own pieces of wisdom as well. Is this something you would be interested in doing?  Anyone can make a comment currently to any of the blog postings. But if you would like to start a new topic please let me know at dprechtel@sbcglobal.net.

St. Joseph's Day

Today I remember and give thanks for the men who have helped give shape to my own understanding of becoming a mature man in a society that has very few role models of healthy and mature masculinity.  Some have been uncles in my family network, others have been spiritual guides and mentors that have been a companion for me at particular points in my life.  In that list of male mentor relationships I remember with deep affection and appreciation my stepfather--later adopted father--who entered my life at twelve years old, and who willingly took on the not-so-easy task of loving not only my mother but also her three young boys and learned along with the rest of us how to be a family together.

Each of these men had a growing spiritual depth to them and a sense of community responsibility; and fortunately for me took interest in me and my growth as a whole human being. They had learned how to be emotionally present to themselves and others, and how to make commitments to the well being of others. Each of these men also had their own limitations and seemed to know how to acknowledge and make peace with that part of themselves and be charitable about others' failings.  They learned how to give nurture and support as well as provide strength and power for living.

I turn my attention with gratitude to these men particularly on this day each year, because in the Church's calendar we celebrate the one I think of as their patron, Saint Joseph.  Joseph was, according to tradition, the stepfather of Jesus.  He was the male figure in the holy family that labored on their behalf as a carpenter, and served as protector of the young family when King Herod was threatening the life of Jesus.  He heeded the warnings of his dreams to move the family to Egypt to escape Herod and returned the family to their homeland when Herod died.  He and Mary together suffered through Jesus' adolescence when, at 12 years old, Jesus stayed on in Jerusalem without telling them.  Even the holy family had their problems!

So for all those men and women who have been our mentors and guides in life, for those who seek our well-being and right living--let's give thanks to God!  And let's try to be that way for others that God might place in our path, too.

Pruning

I am now in the season of Lent and I've been thinking of the importance of pruning grapevines and other plants as analogous actions to the spiritual disciplines of this time in the Christian year.  Pruning a grapevine serves the purpose of concentrating and channeling energy for particular growth--to direct the energy into the growth of grapes in the summer and making the vine fruitful for harvest in the fall.  Similarly Lent can be seen as a time reserved for pruning our lives of all the stuff that diffuses our energy and makes us less concentrated on living into our core spiritual and ethical values and primary relationship with the divine.  A season dedicated to looking at where we expend energy in fruitless compulsions and distractions and letting go (with prayer and the grace of God, and sometimes with the help of others) of those actions and habits that stunt our lives is well worth practicing.  Sadly, popular religion can trivialize the potential for this season...turning it into a time of giving up candy or chocolates rather than looking at the greater issues of where we really get hooked and diminished!  What drains me of my vitality and power in living?  What keeps me from being at peace?  Where do I feel blocked or constricted in my relationships?  How do I participate in structures and systems that thwart or constrict or oppress others unjustly?  These are not easy or comfortable questions, but they have a better chance of  leading us to insights about what really needs to be pruned away and what preparation is truly necessary for healthy, vital, fruitful living and new growth that benefits not only ourselves but all those with whom we share a connection. 

Stormy Times

I apologize for the gap in postings.  In the San Francisco Bay Area we talk about the current weather pattern being influenced by El Nino, The Boy.  In that system we had about a week of very stormy temper tantrums, but for the last week and a half things have quieted down.

Sometimes at the beginning of spiritual companionship meetings I'll ask people what their "personal weather system" has been lately.  If someone asked me that question I would have to say that it has been stormy times. This storm has taken a lot of my emotional energy and attention.  There have been some things I have been able to do about this, and some things that are beyond my control or not mine to do amidst the storm.

None of us are exempt from periods of cloudiness or storms in our lives.  Simple things can help in those more personally difficult times like praying the Serenity Prayer: "God grant me the courage to change the things I can, the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, and the wisdom to know the difference." 

Sometimes I'll imagine the people who are experiencing these stormy times with me all in a boat together on a storm-tossed sea, like the story of Jesus and his disciples in the Sea of Galilee (Mark 4:37ff).  We call out to him, asking him to still the storm.  I'll try to get in touch with what's being said between us in the boat, and what Jesus might be trying to tell us.  Then he'll call out, "Peace! Be still."...not just to the stormy situation, but to my own inner turmoil and chaos. 

For me there is also the blessing of having wise, spiritually grounded people who will pray for me, listen to me as I try to make sense of the situation, receive me in the strong feelings that surge within, and hold the trust for me that the storm will pass and safe harbor will be reached in time.  Those are some of the resources that help me in difficult times like what I am going through now.

What helps you in stormy times?

Judgment?

The devastation from the 7.0 magnitude earthquake in Haiti has been terrible.  Tens of thousands of people are feared dead under collapsed buildings and so many are homeless and without basic food, water, and medical aid.  International rescue and assistance are being sent to help.

In the face of such a natural calamity it is deeply disturbing to me to hear the Rev. Pat Robertson attribute a spiritual cause for this and claim this is God's judgment on Haiti due to its people making a pact with the devil.  I remember similar claims of God's judgment when New Orleans and the Mississippi delta region was devastated by Hurricane Katrina.  And the echoes of judgment reverberate from the 1980's initial outbreak of the HIV-AIDS virus.  There are times when I almost feel ashamed of being a Christian minister of the gospel when I hear such moralistic, judgmental diatribe from other ministers.  I expect that it can feel that way for the vast majority of Muslim imams who have to address Islam's extreme fundamentalist clergy, or Jewish rabbis having to deal with ultra-orthodox leaders, that are so caught up in their sense of righteous causes that catastrophic events mirror their purposes and reflect divine affirmation and judgment upon the Others.  It is dangerous stuff, this kind of projection of evil upon people and divine wrath read into natural catastrophes.

I cannot hold to such a view of God any longer, and I hope that most people see such pronouncements as portraying the Holy One as monstrous.  I sincerely hope that the vast majority of people of faith find such views of God repulsive and distance themselves from religious leaders that make such claims.  What is the fruit of such judgment?  Common people are associated with some pervasive evil intention and victimized a second time.

Certainly, and thankfully, the vast majority of credible spiritual leaders support all those who take up actions of compassion in response to such terrible situations as an earthquake in Haiti.  We pray for those who have experienced huge loss and death, and for those who are directly engaged in rescue and relief services.  We give our financial resources for emergency care of those who need it.  We do this as a response and participation in divine compassion and mercy, flowing from a God who cares for the sick and the stranger, the widowed and the orphaned, and holds all life dear.  It is not ours to cast or pronounce judgment.  Such talk bears bitter fruit.  It is ours, rather, to see the suffering Christ in the face of those who suffer and to respond with compassion.

Visitations

One of my regular daily practices is to go out to my back yard, weather permitting, and do some tai chi and qigong routines.  Chi/Qi has an elusive meaning but it refers to "energy" or "spirit."  And I do find these exercises both refreshing physically and also spiritually.  It feels like a contemplative dance or wordless prayer in motion where the Spirit is my partner.  It seems like every time I go out to do this practice I see one or two little neighborhood hummingbirds.  I just love seeing them!  Today, in the midst of my routines a white dove came by and stayed on the roof of a shed in our backyard just a few feet away from me.  I was just thrilled.  I whispered to it that I would dance for it.  Later it left and the neon green, black, red, and yellow hummingbird came shimmering by for a visit.  God is present in all that is but sometimes it is easier than in other moments to see, and be aware, and be delighted.  I hope someday to always be alert to those visitations.  This life is a gift, and God puts so many good things in our path to see and enjoy.  Merry Christmas, happy holy-days, everyone!

Waiting for Clarity

People are asking me how the wine is coming along from the pinot noir I started this fall.  That was the case last night with a student at a dinner at the seminary.  I told her that the wine is still in larger containers doing its slow, quiet work of settling and clarifying.  The wine is very cloudy now and I will wait for a few months to see if it clarifies by itself.  I have clarifying agents that I can use if it becomes necessary that will help clear the wine without altering the taste.  Once it is nice and clear I'll bottle the wine.  Well, when the seminary student and I were talking about waiting for clarity we both smiled and I realized that we've got another theme in spiritual life here!

Often in spiritual direction I am sitting with people, sometimes for months or even years, as we wait together in prayerful attentiveness as my friend is seeking clarity about various life questions:  What direction am I being called into in ministry?  How do I best respond to this relationship?  How should I address a particular concern with my spouse or partner?  What does God want from me in my workplace?  If I take this particular job I'll have to give up many other important things.  What is the right thing to do?  My prayer life seems to be changing, but what will that do to my relationship with God?  I keep getting variations on the same dream--I wonder what this is trying to tell me?  Now that I'm moving to retirement I wonder what I should be doing in my life?  There are a whole host of questions that come with faithful, reflective, contemplative living.  The Christian spiritual tradition offers various tools for discernment, for seeking God's direction (our deepest, truest direction) amidst the various pushes and pulls and interests that come with important life situations and decisions.

Out of these many contributions from the Christian tradition, I'd like to highlight an aide to discernment that comes from the Quaker community--the clearness committee.  Although I'm not going to go into detail about how a clearness committee process works in this reflection, I would like to emphasize some aspects of it from which we can all benefit.  A person (or people) is seeking greater clarity and sense of direction, of God's direction, in a particular life question.  He or she calls together some members of the community to sit with in one or more sessions that is marked by prayerful silence and questions of a particular kind.  The members of the committee believe that the truth that the person is seeking already resides within that person.  But the various considerations and interests that come with living in this world cloud his or her knowing, and the committee's job is to ask the kinds of questions that help the person engage the issues deeply and clear away the clouds to discover that inner truth or direction.

Whenever we are seeking clarity about a life issue it can be helpful to have people that can be with us, non-judgmentally and faithfully, in ways that are like a clearness committee.  A spiritual director-companion, a some friends, a pastor or therapist, some wise elders in your faith community, some family members that can be loving but also a bit detached from the situation, a colleague at work or school, or others that God may provide for you can be invaluable if they can help you freely explore your own deepest concerns and desires about the issue.  These are not people who are trying to tell you what to do--they are not advice-givers.  They trust that God resides within you and your deepest inner knowing will take you where you need to go.  They can sit with you in prayer, be a companion you in the waiting for clarity, and can ask you the kind of questions that help you do your best inner sifting of values and concerns and open you to the imaginative and prayerfully intuitive work that will eventually clarify your truth.  Sometimes that inner direction comes quickly, but many times it is a process that takes a long time before you have clarity.  Having some faithful friends can be helpful--they can be "spiritual clarifying agents."